Let’s talk about guilt.
Not the kind that comes from forgetting a friend’s birthday (we’ve all been there), but the kind that sneaks in when you’re juggling work deadlines, family commitments, and self-care, yet feel like you’re failing at all of them.
As a leader, entrepreneur, or manager, this feeling might be all too familiar. You’re busy building something meaningful, but that inner voice whispers: “You should’ve done more at work today. You should’ve spent more time with your family. You should’ve hit the gym.”
Sound familiar?
Why We Feel This Way
Guilt often stems from high expectations. Society rewards being busy, and we often internalize this as always needing to be “on.” Whether it’s the pressure to succeed, the desire to be present at home, or the drive to lead effectively, it’s easy to feel pulled in all directions.
But here’s the thing: guilt doesn’t make you better at any of these roles. If anything, it drains your energy and keeps you stuck in a cycle of overwork and self-doubt.
Yes, I know….you may already know all of this, but it’s easier said than done.
And I agree. It’s hard to get rid of the feeling that no matter what you do, there’s always something else that you could have done.
My point is: feeling this way won’t help you move. It’ll just get you stuck and frozen.
The Impact of Guilt
Guilt in itself is not always a bad feeling. This can be our body’s reminder to check in with ourselves and see whether we’re still on the right path.
But if it’s there ALL the time and you do nothing about it…then, it can become an issue.
Unchecked guilt can lead to burnout, resentment, and decision fatigue. It can make you second-guess your priorities and even damage your relationships, both at work and home. And when you carry that weight for too long, it starts to feel normal – even though it’s not.
So, how can you break free from the guilt trap and find a healthier balance?
Practical Ways to Manage Guilt
Get Clear on Your Priorities
Not everything can be urgent, and not everything can be done right now. Write down what truly matters – both in work and life. Think about what aligns with your long-term goals and values.
Try this
Create two lists: “What must be done this week?” and “What can wait?” Stick to them, and give yourself permission to focus. Review the lists at the end of the week, learn from your experience and adjust for the next week.
Redefine Success
Success doesn’t mean checking every box. It’s about making consistent progress toward your goals and being present in the moments that matter.
Reframe this thought
Instead of saying, “I didn’t finish my entire to-do list,” try, “I accomplished the most important things today.” And if you didn’t, make sure you focus on the most important things tomorrow.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Saying “no” is hard, but it’s a skill worth mastering. It’s okay to let your team know you’re unavailable after a certain hour or to dedicate a no-meetings day for deep work. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re necessary.
Note: Setting boundaries doesn’t always mean saying “no”. It’s often more about what you do want and what makes you feel good rather than what you want to avoid or stop doing.
Ask yourself: “What’s one boundary I can set this week to protect my energy?”
Practice Self-Compassion
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and beating yourself up won’t make you more productive. If you feel drained, forcing yourself to do just one more thing may just be a tipping point that will spiral you to burnout, sickness or anything else along those lines.
Not to mention that when you push yourself to do things and you’re at your 10%, things will get done A LOT slower, more mistakes will be made and you’ll do a worse job than if you’d given yourself time to rest and then tackled the issue at hand.
Treat yourself the way you’d encourage a team member: with kindness and understanding.
Remind yourself: “I’m doing my best with what I have today.” And regularly check with yourself what your best is on any given day.
Final Thoughts
Guilt isn’t a badge of honor, and it’s not a sign that you care more. It’s a signal that something might need adjusting – whether it’s your mindset, your priorities, or your boundaries.
So, the next time guilt creeps in, pause. Ask yourself: “Why do I feel this way? What messages am I sending myself? What am I trying to accomplish?” and when you have answers to these questions, then ask yourself: “What’s truly important right now?”
Then let go of everything else and focus on what matters.
Please, remember: you’re already doing so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Over to You:
What’s one small step you’ll take today to manage guilt and protect your energy? I’d love to hear your thoughts.